January 20, 2019
One of the greatest barriers that we encounter in our lives is self-doubt! Even as you speak it, you can hear how it is directed internally. It is not doubt that is poured onto you by a boss, neighbor, or family member. It is doubt that we heap upon ourselves. It is a barrier that we construct when we are hesitant and reluctant to move forward.
I am no stranger to self-doubt. I still battle it from time to time. It usually rears its ugly head when I feel that I am possibly in the wrong place at the wrong time, or if I am not quite sure if the words that I have to say really matter in the whole scope of a conversation. I struggled with it in seminary as I was surrounded by classmates that grew up in the church and knew a lot more of the Bible than I did. I wondered if I was in the right place at the right time and would have to take a moment to pause and give thanks for the many possibilities that I had been given. Even at a time of hesitancy, Jesus takes a moment to pray and listen to how God is guiding him in his walk with humanity.
This morning, we must venture outside of Luke’s gospel to hear the story of the wedding at Cana. In the gospel of John, the turning of the water into the wine is the first sign that Jesus performs that points to his glory and divinity. Yet, as we listen to the gospel lesson, there appears to be a bit of a reluctance on his part to move forward.
First, there is the conversation with his mother around the wine running out, and his response, “What concern is that to you and to me?” It almost seems to be a get behind me Satan moment that we will encounter when Peter questions Jesus. He then tells her, “My hour has not yet come.” What exactly is he waiting for? We are left wondering why this hesitancy. Why this reluctance to help with hospitality. He truly has the power to make or break this wedding party. If the wine runs dry, then so does the wedding celebration. A wedding celebration in the time of Jesus would last for an entire week. Imagine what would happen if you ran out of wine in the middle of the week. Most likely, there would be a bit of shame.
While Jesus shows a bit of reluctance, could there have just been a tinge of self-doubt? This is the first sign that he will perform, so maybe he won’t get it right. Perhaps, he is just beginning to understand the ministry that lays in front of him and his hesitancy is a result of this. The words of Jesus’ mother are simple, “They have no wine.” She is pointing to the need at hand and putting the ball into his court to see what will happen next. The divine mystery at work.
Our world today, is not immune to need.
In a world where for so many there is no clean water—let alone fine wine—where is the extravaganza of God? In a world where children play in bomb craters the size of thirty-gallon wine jugs, why the divine reluctance? In a world where desperate mothers must say to their small children, “We have no food,” why has the hour not yet come? [In a time when we argue with those we disagree and call them names, why not a little divine intervention?] No matter how we rationalize divine activity, we still want to tug at Jesus’ sleeve and say: “they have no wine.”
There is something much greater that is realized in our gospel lesson. While Jesus may seem a bit reluctant, he does pause and listens to God. While he thought it was not his time yet, he must have sensed that the Spirit was working through his mother to call him into action. In that action, he does not hold anything back! He goes all in!
As we hear, he instructs the servants to fill the thirty-gallon jugs with water. And, they fill them to the brim! There is a great abundance that Jesus pours forth for all to experience that are celebrating at the wedding feast. While, the first wine may have been of a decent quality, perhaps like Mogen-David, this wine that Jesus has called forth is even greater! Perhaps a nice cabernet, or even a port! He does not hold anything back to be shared with the people.
This is a precursor of the ministry that he is going to begin with the disciples. He will be sharing the abundance of God with everyone that he encounters. It is amazing that this first act of Jesus is not a healing, or a sermon, or even an exorcism. His first act is to share the abundance of God with all that are gathered. This is a foretaste of Jesus’ ministry, and a foretaste of the kingdom to come. It is here that Jesus will welcome all people into his embrace.
Each and everyone of you are called to share in this ministry with Jesus Christ. Are you possibly a little hesitant and reluctant like he appeared to be? Are you afraid to lift your voices over the noise and distractions of your daily life? If so, you are not alone. I am with you in my own hesitancy and reluctance at times. But more important, Christ is with us as we are called to walk along our brothers and sisters in humanity. Jesus comes to us with vessels that flow over the brim with an abundant love from God. May you be filled with that overflow of love and grace and be a sign for others seeking God.
Let us pray.
All encompassing God, we give thanks for the signs of Jesus that reveal is
glory to all. May we learn to embrace these signs in our own lives and live
into the grace that only comes through you. Amen.
 Carol Lakey Hess, Feasting on the Word, Year C, Volume 4, 263.